


there’s more room in a broken heart

by Blownwish



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Hand Jobs, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Piss Play, Watersports, kink with feelings, otayuri - Freeform, this is guys peeing on guys you have been warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 15:13:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14083710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blownwish/pseuds/Blownwish
Summary: Yuri will do anything for Otabek.*mind the tags!*





	there’s more room in a broken heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [annabeth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/annabeth/gifts).



> Beta’d by and written for my dear friend Annabeth.

Otabek is unbuttoning Yuri’s fly and someone just walked into the men’s room. He presses his hand against Yuri’s fly like he’s pressing a pause button. “Stand on the toilet.”

A moment later Yuri is standing on the seat and staring into Otabek’s eyes as whoever walked in pisses in the urinal. Otabek blinks a couple of times, then he looks away as his face turns red.

“S’ok.” Yuri whispers. Otabek doesn’t respond, not even when Yuri rubs his shoulder. And he’s actually getting redder. Yuri wonders how the fuck that asshole can be holding so much piss. “One of us needs to piss.” Otabek’s still staring at the stall like he’s never seen one before. Is he okay? Is he wondering why the fuck he’s sneaking around with some kid? Yuri wishes he knew. “Fine.” Yuri whips his out, aims down between his shoes, and starts pissing.

The restroom door closes before Yuri is done. It’s a minor miracle, the fucker is gone. “Thank fuck!” Yuri laughs.

But Otabek’s not laughing. His back hit the stall door and he’s staring at Yuri’s dick. Maybe it’s his imagination but Yuri thinks he hears Otabek moan.

His face gets red, too. Otabek’s never really seen his dick unless Yuri’s hard and he was only halfway there before that asshole and his piss marathon ruined everything. Yuri pulls it back in and steps off the seat. God, this is embarrassing.

++

Otabek’s like another language. Yuri sits on Otabek’s mattress and watches him look through the room service menu. “You want to mess around?” Yuri asks. He’s trying to understand what it means when the corner of Otabek’s mouth almost goes up.

“Sure.” Otabek follows up by taking off his shirt. He’s got the most beautifully cut body. He wants to have Otabek and be Otabek all at once. He’s so masculine, so strong, and he stands in front of Yuri, pecs directly in his line of vision. “What do you want to do?”

Yuri unbuttons his shirt but he doesn’t take it off. He’s too small, like a little kid with his little dick. He wishes he knew what Otabek likes. The mattress dips and Yuri closes his eyes. He can _feel_ Otabek, he’s so close, his body heat comes through his shirt sleeve. “Whatever, I guess.” That’s what they always do. “I have to get back in an hour. Lilia.” He shrugs.

Otabek sighs. He doesn’t know what that means. Does he want someone who can stay all night and do everything? Yuri isn’t even sure Otabek liked that one and only kiss they shared. It was the first night Otabek was in St. Petersburg and they were fueled by Otabek’s jet lag and a couple of bottles of red wine Yuri stole from Viktor. It was sloppy. Yuri wasn’t sure what to do with his tongue or his hands and Otabek was just letting Yuri paw at him. He could’ve been surprised, disgusted. or both. But he did come for Yuri when they jerked each other off. Yuri has had a lot of practice doing that, though. He knows he could do _that_.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” says Otabek.

He knows that. He knows he can do whatever he wants - _and he will!_ \- but he wants Otabek to like him. “I’m not a baby.” He just turned sixteen! Yuri thinks he’s going to explode.

Otabek’s breath is warm and his fingers barely touch Yuri’s wrist when Yuri reaches for Otabek’s fly. Yuri smiles because Otabek’s hard already. He cups Otabek through his sweats. Then Otabek takes his hand and guides it underneath the elastic.

Yuri is stroking him off. God, he’s so big. What’s it like to blow him, to get fucked with that huge thing as he stares into Otabek’s eyes? Yuri wants more.

Otabek combs Yuri’s hair away from his eyes. “That’s nice.” _Nice_. A kiss on the cheek is nice. Herbal tea is nice. Yuri wants Otabek to say he’s hot.

“Do you want me to do something else?” Yuri asks. Otabek grunts and it’s a deep, low rumble that makes Yuri want to rut on his leg like a puppy. “Like maybe suck you?” Otabek hisses. “I saw this video with these two guys sucking each other off in a public toilet and I thought, back there, I thought maybe...” He presses his forehead against Otabek’s shoulder so he can’t see Yuri’s face. God he’s so nervous and he can’t stop talking. “I'm not trying to talk dirty to get you off. I mean it.”

Otabek lets out a long, slow breath. Does he want that? Yuri peeks up and Otabek’s eyes are closed and he’s gritting his teeth.

“You want me to?” His voice cracks and Otabek swallows like he’s in pain. But Yuri knows it doesn’t hurt. Otabek’s leaking, he can feel it. “Just… just tell me what to -“

Otabek’s suddenly shoving his hand down Yuri’s pants and Yuri is so hard and ready and feels so _good_ , and Yuri can’t not thrust, can’t not _come_ , just thinking about being on his knees as Otabek chants his name.

And then it’s over. Yuri blinks and the corner of Otabek’s mouth is pulled down. He doesn’t know what that means. “Sorry,” says Yuri.

Otabek wipes Kleenex over his hand. “You don’t have to finish.” Maybe Otabek prefers watching porn and jerking off. It’s probably more fun.

“Oh, okay.” Yuri goes to the restroom, grabs some tissues, shoves them down his pants and wipes up the rest. He’s going to have to take a shower and get some clean clothes once he gets back to Lilia’s and he can’t fucking imagine leaving at all. But he’s going to have to. He’s sixteen and he’s got a curfew, and even if he didn’t, Otabek’s got to get off — without him. “Gonna piss.” He turns his back just a little so Otabek doesn’t have to see him all soft when he pees. Yuri tries to joke. “Can’t believe I have to go again. All that water Yakov makes us drink.” He smiles at Otabek.

And then he sees it. Otabek’s red face and Otabek’s big cock is out and it’s in his hand. It’s just for a second, though. Just long enough for Otabek to jump up and turn away.

Wow. What the fuck? Was he - yeah, he was. Otabek was jerking off. Yuri shakes off the drops and watches the water and piss swirl in the bowl until it all flushes away. “Uh, so I’m going to go.”

Otabek sees him to the door but he can’t look him in the eye. “See you at practice.”

“Yeah.” Yuri can’t look at him either. “Sorry.” He takes the stairs two at a time when he leaves and jogs down to the curb because he can’t get away fast enough. But he can’t help it, he looks over his shoulder. Otabek’s standing at his window, one hand up.

Yuri waves back before he dashes down the crosswalk.

++

Everything was bleak when Yuri was a little boy in Moscow. Life was distilled down to the broken bricks and cracked tile and days that brought nothing but boring classes where he never got anything right, second hand clothes and shoes that never fit, and angry teachers who told him the only thing keeping them from strangling him to death was Jesus.

He lived for the days when Grandpa took him to the ice rink. That was the only place where everything was as fresh and new as the ice the Zamboni smoothed over. “I don’t need to go to school,” he told Mama. “Why should I? You never needed it.”

He’s come a long way. Yuri doesn’t wear anything but brand new, brand name clothes. He hasn’t washed his hair with dish soap or boiled water to make a hot bath for years. St Petersburg might as well be another planet.

“Do you see your mother often?” Otabek has his arm around him as they dangle their legs from his fire escape and share a can of Baltika beer.

He knows it’s over. Otabek wants to be a big brother, not a boyfriend. Yuri watches cars rolling down the street. Watches seagulls float in the breeze without moving, levitating. “What for?” She’s angry and burned out, blaming Yuri for ruining a singing career that never happened, anyway.

Otabek rubs Yuri’s arm. Why did he tell him all that shit about his life? Is he trying to get Otabek to feel sorry for him and maybe give him a pity fuck? God, Yuri hates himself. He is such a shitty person.

“I’m going to skate to your short program from last season.” Yuri doesn’t know where the idea came from. All he knows is that he wants to feel closer to Otabek in any way possible. “I like the way it looks like martial arts. Like karate or something.” Then Otabek looks up at the sky and sighs. “Or not.”

“Be yourself, Yuri. Don’t try to be someone else.” He passes Yuri the can. It’s not nearly as cold as it should be.

He doesn’t finish it but Otabek doesn’t want anymore. So he places it with the other cans at the end of a line they made along the railing. “Mama says beer is inefficient.”

Otabek turns Yuri’s face toward his. The wind blows in his dark hair, the sherbet sunset is exploding behind him and he smiles — smiles! — like a dream “Can I kiss you?”

_”Oh fuck yes!”_

He closes his eyes and he expects it on the mouth but Otabek presses his lips against his cheek. Just his cheek. He should’ve known. Otabek is just being nice to him. Feeling sorry for him.

But then he touches Yuri’s chin. He kisses his lips. He kisses them softly, slowly, exhaling as he slings his arms over Yuri’s shoulders and opens his mouth, just a little.

Yuri is instantly hard and instantly ready and he shoves his tongue in Otabek’s mouth because Otabek wants him. He actually fucking wants him. Maybe. _Hopefully_.

“Whoa.” Otabek backs away. “Just a little. Like this.” He touches the tip of his tongue against Yuri’s, once. Just a little. “Ease into it.”

Who taught him how to kiss? Yuri is jealous and curious all at once as Otabek’s tongue darts into his mouth again. Does he still think about that person? Does he wish they were here, instead?

Otabek pulls back and taps Yuri’s nose. “Quick study.” God, it’s like lightning when Otabek smiles.

Yuri doesn’t know what to do next. All he knows is he wants to do something, _anything_ that’ll make Otabek keep smiling at him like that. “What do you like to do?” He smiles back at him. “I want to do it with you. Is it blow jobs? Or anal? What is it?”

The last of Otabek’s smile is gone. “This is fine.”

“Oh.” Yuri gets up and hides his face because there are fucking tears and he’s not going to cry in front of him. “I — I gotta piss.”

He nearly falls when he climbs through the window and trips on his own feet twice because he can’t really see through the tears and hair in front of his face. He takes a deep breath as he stands in front of the toilet.

“Fuck my life.” He pisses. He’s going to leave and he’s not going to bother Otabek anymore. He’s going to see him at practice and he’s going to wish him good luck when summer is over he goes back to Almaty, and he’s going to focus on nothing but skating from now on.

He nearly jumps out of his skin when he turns and Otabek is leaning up against the door frame. “You scared me!” Otabek’s face is red. Maybe he’s drunk? Anything’s possible. Yuri shrugs at the toilet. “All yours. Didn’t flush though.”

Otabek bites his lip. But he doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t give him anything. No clues, no words, no explanation for all of this. He just stands there.

“What do you want from me, Beka? It’s not sex because you won’t. What do you _want_?”

Otabek closes his eyes and leans against the door. That’s when Yuri sees it. Otabek’s hard. He can see his hard on tenting in his pants. “It’s… not for you.”

Yuri slams his hand against the wall. “You know what?” He wants to scream. To punch and kick. “Fuck you, asshole! I don’t even want to know!”

++

He’s so sick of everything. He is sick of the quiet treatment during practice from Otabek while Yuuri and Viktor hover over him like he’s some pouting little baby. He’s sick of sitting in his room and jerking off while he wonders what Otabek’s doing and who he’s doing it with. He’s sick of waiting for sleep to come while he stares up at the ceiling and tries not to cry.

Nothing good ever happens when people cry. They get slapped and laughed at. Life is hard and he’s got to be harder, _better_. He will be. Otabek’s not the first person to break his heart. Yuri needs the ice and it’s all he will ever need.

“No ice cream.” Lilia smacks his hand and takes the carton away. “You had some already.”

“Then why do you buy it?” Yuri tosses his spoon in the sink. And how does she know he had some already? “God, just leave me alone! You're not my mother.” No, his mother only kept vodka in the freezer and wine in the refrigerator.

She lights a cigarette. “This is about the Kazakh boy.” Lilia blows smoke over their heads.

“No it’s not.”

“It’s always about that boy, ever since you met, and I told Yakov not to let him train here because I knew this would happen!” God! Yuri squeezes his eyes shut because his head is pounding from the pressure behind his eyes. She grabs his arm and she’s hugging him.

Yuri sags against her. And he sobs. God! He sobs like a baby as she shushes him and pats his back. “I thought he liked me.” He keeps saying it over and over but it doesn’t make the hurt go away.

She sits him at the round kitchen table and brings the carton back out. She even sets a clean spoon on top. “Not too much.” She pats his head before she sits, and for once Yuri doesn’t mind feeling like a little kid. He takes a bite and pushes it back. “What?”

“It’s not really that good.” He wipes his nose with the back of his hand. “Not when it’s okay.”

She drags at her cigarette and nods. Her eyes narrow. “Maybe,” smoke billows as she talks, “I should have approved of you and that boy. It would’ve saved you a lot of misery.”

He has to laugh. “Wish it worked that way.”

“Oh, and you know so much about how it works.” She stubs the cigarette out in her crystal ashtray. “Let me tell you something about the real world, Yuri. Nothing works the way you think it works. Not when you’re sixteen, not when you’re sixty. It’s all a mystery.” She smiles. “And as scary as that sounds? I promise you, my dearest Yurochka, I _promise_ it is just as beautiful as it is terrible.”

He puts the lid back on the carton. “Doesn’t that mean you don’t know how me and Otabek would’ve worked?”

She spreads her hands and shrugs. God, he’s so sick of everything being some fucking riddle.

“Doesn’t matter.” He doesn’t bother to put it up. “Nothing happened. He’s not interested.” He just walks away.

“Yuri!” He stops at the kitchen door. “Don’t give up hope. Maybe you two can be friends.”

A friend? “I guess.” That would’ve been great if he was sixty like her.

“He seems, how do I say it? Sad.” He blinks. “Lonely. I think, I think he needs a friend.”

He needs to go back to his room and to pornhub and another round of sobbing masturbation.

“And I’m sure you understand what I mean when I tell you not to see that boy tonight.” She tussles his hair. “I forbid it, Yurochka.”

Oh. Yuri feels something lurch somewhere between his throat and his gut when she pats his cheek with a wink as she goes to the living room.

This is how he finds himself in an Uber that’s speeding like a bullet toward Otabek’s apartment.

++

This is crazy. It’s starting to rain and he’s climbed up Otabek’s fire escape and he’s _spying_ on him because he doesn’t know what else to do. Fucking hell! Lilia might be old and wise and whatever but she’s got no idea what it’s like to be in love with a guy who keeps everything to himself. Yuri couldn’t have just knocked on Otabek’s door, acting like everything was cool. What was he supposed to say? _Hey, I was just in the neighborhood and thought you might have a beer? Sorry about making you jerk me off and everything!_

No way.

But it’s not like this is any better. God, does this make him a stalker? He should leave. Otabek’s not in his bedroom, anyway. Shit, he’s probably not even here.

Then he hears a door close. Yuri ducks and suddenly he feels like a cartoon character because he’s peering over the sill as Otabek appears in boxers and a tee. He flops on the edge of his bed and opens his laptop. Maybe he’s going to work on his mixes or something.

Then Otabek opens a browser window and pulls up pornhub. Okay, so he’s _not_ working on his mixes. Yuri’s eyes must be popping out of his head because he’s trying to see what he’s typing into the search field. Oh god, oh god, oh god.

Is he really going to watch him do this? _Yes_. He wants to, he needs to. Fuck, he knows it makes him the worst person in the world but he can’t help it. He has to know what Otabek likes. He has to because maybe… maybe…

Otabek’s playing a video of two naked guys in a shower. They’re not kissing or even touching and they’re not even hard. Yuri wonders what the hell they’re going to even do? Watch each other jerk off? Is one of them going to give the other head? Why are they both soft in a porn vid?

He thinks he knows where this is going when one gets on his knees, and then his mind is blown when the other _pisses all over him_ and Otabek groans.

Holy shit. He can see Otabek’s profile and he’s biting his lip. He’s breathing hard. He’s rubbing his crotch harder and he takes it out and he’s _hard_.

“Yura…”

Yuri feels his heart stop, but Otabek’s not looking at the window. He’s not looking at anything but the guys in the video. And he keeps saying _Yura_ , over and over like it’s a magic chant and Yuri’s heart feels like it’s going to explode.

He wants him? _He wants him!_ Oh, god! And he wants him like that. He wants to shout as the rain begins to pour down and he lifts his face to feel it because he doesn’t care. Otabek wants him.

He knows what he has to do.

++

He had to do jumps that weren’t legal in the junior division to make Yakov put him in seniors. He had to follow Viktor to Hatsetsu to make him choreograph his short program. He has to climb through the window uninvited to make Otabek love him. Yuri Plisetsky will do what it takes to get what he wants.

He expects Otabek to jump up and he isn’t surprised when the laptop hits the floor, and Yuri knows Otabek is shocked. He’s looking at Yuri like he’s never seen him before and he can’t quite believe what he’s seeing. And his face is red. It’s so, so red.

“Yuri! What the _fuck_ are you doing here?!”

He peels off his wet T-shirt and it falls to the wooden floor with a soft, wet _slosh_. “Can’t exactly explain how I know your kink so I’m just going to stop peeping and start doing.” He smiles as the pants go next. They’re hard to tug off and he kicks them away with his shoes. Otabek groans, and he hides his face and Yuri has to pull his hands away so he can look him in the eye. “You want me. You want me like those guys in that video.”

Otabek swallows hard. He can’t look away because Yuri won’t let him. “Yes.” It’s one word and it’s _everything_.

“Take me to your bathroom.” Yuri takes his hand. He tugs it. “I want you to piss on me.”

Otabek takes him there and even looks over his shoulder nervously, as if Yuri is going to change his mind. But he won’t. Yuri smiles back. He squeezes Otabek’s hand. He steps into the tub and he gets on his knees while Otabek tears off his own clothes. 

And when he looks up at Otabek, Yuri thinks he’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, all red faced and unsure and needy. Yuri kisses his hand. “Please, Beka?”

Otabek groans as he takes out his dick. It’s still hard and Yuri wonders how he’s gonna even aim with a hard on like this. He strokes it because he can’t help it, but Otabek’s stopping him. “Yura.” He sounds like he’s been running. He gently nudges Yuri’s hands away. “Look at me, Yura.”

Yuri looks into Otabek’s eyes and - oh, shit! - a hot stream hits his cheek and he can’t help gasping and it keeps coming, all over his face, and even in his mouth and he has to spit it out and hold his breath, but he won’t close his eyes. No, he wants to see Otabek. He wants to know Otabek. He wants all his secrets.

_”Yura!”_

Otabek’s voice breaks and his hands tremble as he cups Yuri’s chin. As he rubs his thumb against his wet lips and pushes it inside. Yuri doesn’t care if it tastes like piss. He loves it. He loves _Otabek_.

“You like that?” Otabek asks. Oh, fuck of course he does! He’s so hard and so happy. Yuri nods. “Would you do it too?”

He can’t get up fast enough. And fuck, he wants to jerk off at the sight of Otabek getting on his knees. He presses down on his belly a little to force it out and when he does Otabek opens his mouth and groans as the piss lands right there as if Yuri was able to even aim right. And he lets it overflow. As he jerks off. As he looks up. As he stares into Yuri’s eyes with all the yearning Yuri ever felt for Otabek.

“Fuck, Beka!”

This is what he wants. All he really wants. Otabek spits the rest on Yuri’s dick when he’s finished. Then he takes it. He never breaks eye contact as he lowers his head and he takes Yuri’s dick in his mouth, whole.

Yuri has to brace his hands against the tile as Otabek grabs his ass and devours him. And it’s wet and it’s hot and Otabek sucks so hard, he groans so much, and Yuri can’t keep standing up. No, he nearly falls but Otabek eases him down. He catches Yuri’s chin and they kiss.

It’s nothing- nothing - like their other kisses. Otabek is wild. He’s dipping his tongue in and out of Yuri’s mouth and grabbing Yuri’s ass and grinding Yuri against his cock and he tastes like piss. Yuri loves it. He loves him. And Otabek loves him back.

He can feel it when Otabek comes all over his belly, yelling his name. When he pushes Yuri on his back in the tub and sucks him off again. When Yuri _comes_ , and Otabek swallows every drop. When Otabek slurps piss and come off Yuri’s belly and swallows it all before he kisses Yuri gently, so gently.

Yuri sighs. “We need a shower.”

“In a minute.” Otabek presses his forehead against his. “Let me just be in this space for one more minute.” His thumb rubs back and forth against Yuri’s cheek.

“Anything you want.” Yuri closes his eyes and sighs. “Anything at all.”


End file.
